Dad Jokes in celebration of Fathers day!

IN THE CAR
When driving past a cemetery, 'You know, that is the dead centre of town!'...
When driving past a cemetery, 'That place is pretty popular, people are dying to get in there!'...
When driving past a cemetery, 'They put the fence up to keep everyone in!'...
When driving past some black and white cows, 'Boy it must be cold out there, those cows are Friesian!'...
'Where are we Dad?' .... 'In the car'...
When there is a slow driver in the way, 'Come on!! What are you waiting for? Christmas?'...
When driving past a woman, 'ahh, she was good from far, but she's far from good.'...
When driving past a woman. 'Marks out of ten? I'd give her one!'...
When an emergency service vehicle goes past with siren blazing, 'You'll not sell many ice creams going that fast.'...
When driving past someone washing their car, 'you can do mine next, if you want!'...
When reading from one of those information signs out in the countryside..."The rocks you see before you are 26 million years old...""Happy Birthday to you, Happy Birthday to you..."

IN THE HOUSE
'Pull my finger!'...
If someone coughs, "It's not the cough that carries you off, it's the coffin they carry you off in"....
When squeezing past in the hallway and saying "excuse me please" - the reply from Dad will be to lock you in a bear hug and shout "I thought you said SQUEEZE ME"....
Before retiring to the bathroom for a 'number two', 'give the sewage plant a ring...let them know there's one on its way!'...
'Dad I'm hungry' ... 'Hi hungry I'm dad'....
'I'm proud of you son, I'm a wit, but you're still only half as good as me!'...
'I´m off' ... 'I wondered what the smell was!'...
After you are struggling with something for a while, your Dad asks "Can I give you a hand?" You say yes and then he starts a slow clap....
When phone ringing Dad says 'If it's for me don't answer it.' ...
Me: I'm thirsty.Dad: Hi, I'm Friday!...
Me: I'm hungry.Dad: I'm Germany, pleased to meet you....
Me: It's going to a cold night tonight.Dad: Yes, and a dark one too....
After watching you fall over: "Have a nice trip!"...
When an attractive woman appears on TV, 'Ah, She's got a nice set of.....teeth!'...
Mum asks Dad to 'put the kettle on' and Dad replies 'I don't think it will fit!'...
'Put the cat out' ... 'I didn't realise it was on fire'...
Answers the phone by saying 'Hello, Statue?'...
AT THE RESTAURANT
Upon hearing someone in a restaurant dropping glasses or crockery - "Sack the juggler!"...
Upon hearing someone in a restaurant dropping glasses or crockery - "Taxi!"...
Upon hearing someone in a restaurant dropping glasses or crockery - "It wasn't me!"...
Anywhere with stuffed and mounted animal heads - "It must have been going pretty fast when it hit that wall!"....
'I'll be your waiter tonight' ... 'I'll be your customer!'...
At the Greek Restaurant, the waiter hands your Dad the menu, and he says. 'Can you recommend something. This menu's all greek to me.'...
When the waiter mentions on of the specials tonight is chicken, Dad says 'none for me its foul!'...
When being offered a hot towel in a Chinese restaurant, Dad says 'No thank you, I'm full!'...
Trying to order soup in a basket....
Mentioning to the waiter that, 'I'm on a special seafood diet. I see food and I eat it.
AT THE DINNER TABLE
When asking to pass the pepper or salt, Dad will move as though to pass it, then continue his arm in a circle, returning the aforementioned condiment to its original resting place. So the salt has gone past you....
When Dad drops a pea off of his plate 'oh dear I've pee'd on the table!'...
Me: I feel like a sandwichDad: Funny, you don't look like one.......
When eating mushrooms Dad will always make a remark about how he'd like to eat more but he doesn't have mush room....
"Do you want some food to go with your gravy?"...
After a large meal Dad says, "Well that was nice, what's for dinner?"...
Me: Please may I leave the table? Dad: And where are you going to leave it? ...
After a meal Dad says, 'good thing we ate when we did, because I'm not a bit hungry now

DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
Me: Is it Wednesday today?Dad: All day......
Little Boy: Dad, can you put my shirt on?Dad: No, it doesn't fit me....
Me Shall I put the kettle on?Dad: You think it will suit you?...
When rubbing your eye Dad: What's up?"Me: "There's something in my eye"Dad: "Yeah, it's your finger"...
Me: Can you make me a cup of coffee/tea?Dad: Waves his hands over your head and says 'Poof! You are now a cup of coffee/tea!'...
Me: Where's the bin?Dad: I haven't been anywhere!...
Me: How Long's Dinner?Dad: ... about 9 inches.....
Me: Hi there, is Monica around?Dad: No, she's more of an oblong shape......
Me: What's on the TV?Dad: Just some dust....
Me: Can I have 50 bucks?Dad: Forty dollars? What do you need thirty dollars for?...
Me: How is that water?Dad: Wet....
Me: Can I watch the TV?Dad: Yes, but don't turn it on.

FART GAGS
Dad farts and says, 'speak up Mr Brown, you're through.'...
Dad farts and says, 'Better out than in'...
Dad farts and says, 'Phew - I'm glad I'm up-wind of that one'...
Dad farts and says, 'Ooops, I think I've had a slippage'...
'Pull my finger!'

Travelling lightly.

The other day I sat next to a lady I know who also has arthritis.

Like me she doesn't carry it like a heavy weight on her shoulders that she has to burden others with. She carries it under her arm, lightly and just keeps on going.

We gave updates on how each of us was travelling; the Doctors,the medication, dodging the flu while having a life etc. We see each other often but seldom "catch up" so it was nice to chat for just a moment.

And as we talked about taking care of ourselves it occurred to me that here was another blessing. (Yep another nutty Linda idea.) Getting arthritis has been a blessing to me. Its changed my whole outlook on life. I see the world and other people with the knowledge that underneath that facade they show to the world there maybe a whole lot more going on.

Now I look after myself. I eat well, sleep well, any stress in my life I HAVE to let go of or it'll make me unwell. I'm becoming very good at managing my time as I get tired easier than most and because I manage my time I get so much done. I also plan on time to do nothing. Sunday is my rest day to read or knit or snooze or watch old movies and generally charge my batteries. Yes I'm taking much much better care of my self.

My friend Diane sent me an email that evening. She is always good for a little inspirational something to read and I loved this little list of how to "be" in the world. We're getting too busy being busy, will fill our heads with noise and take away our precious moments of silence. We take silence away from ourselves as if it was an empty wasted thing, those precious moments when we can just be still and quiet, and relish the stillness around us; to be alone with our thoughts just to think or to pray or to listen to the sound of life around us. (Its 6am. How many birds are there out there at the moment! Awesome!!!!)

Let me share this list of things to do daily.

1. Pray
2. Go to bed on time.
3. Get up on time so you can start the day unrushed.
4. Say no to projects that won't fit into your time schedule, or that will compromise your mental health.
5. Delegate tasks to capable others
6. Simplify and unclutter your life.
7. Less is more ( although one is often not enough , two are often too many)
8. Allow extra time to do things and to get to places.
9. Pace yourself. Spread out big changes and difficult projects over time: don't lump the hard things all together.
10. Take one day at a time.
11. Separate worries from concerns. If a situation is a concern, find out what God would have you do and let go of the anxiety...If you can't do anything about a situation, forget it!
12. Live within your budget; don't use credit cards for ordinary purchases.
13. Have back ups; an extra car key in your wallet, an extra house key buried in the garden, extra stamps etc.
14. K.M.S ( keep mouth shut)This single piece of advice can prevent an enormous amount of trouble.
15. Do something for the kid in you every day. (At daisychain when we see Dawn's car drive in we all hide from her, even the customers...its hilarious!)
16. Carry a bible with you to read while waiting in line. ( or a book to help you grow spiritually...I'm reading some of Sheila Walsh's books at present...fabulous!)
17. Get enough rest.
18. Eat right.
19. Get organised so everything has its place.
20. Listen to a tape while driving to help improve your quality of life (i'm learning italian! Bellisimo!)
21. Write down thoughts and inspirations.
22. Every day find time to be alone.
23. Having problems ... talk to God on the spot. Try to nip small problems in the bud, don't wait til its time to go to bed to try and pray.
24. Make friends with Godly people.
25. Keep a folder of favourite scriptures and quotes on hand.
26. Remember that the shortest bridge between despair and hope is often a good "thank you Jesus!"
27. Laugh.
28. Laugh some more!
29. Develope a forgiving attitude. (most people are doing the best they can)
30. Be kind to unkind people (they probably need it the most)
31. Sit on your ego.
32. Talk less; Listen more.
33. Slow down.
34. Remind yourself that you are not the General Manager of the Universe.
35. Every night before bed, thing of one thing your grateful for that you've never been grateful for before. God has a way of turning things around for you.

"if God is for us, who can be against us?" Romans 8:31

We're now portable...

Long time, no blogging.
maybe this will help......
Russ and i are now the proud owners of a wee little computer ( netbook) Nothing as terribly fancy as some that are out there and definitely one for the budget conscious. Our aim is to get fairly proficient at it before we head to italy in November. We can gtalk with the boys and i can blog a little each day. we can save our pictures as well but mainly it will to communicate with home. I'm looking forward to lots of McCafe visits to "practice"before then.
Love it!
PS My Mum Moment...when jake told us it had built in wireless and i asked was that am and fm? Don't be silly of course i knew.......or did i?

Our family reunion

My family( minus Paul, Hilary, Alison and Lewis who couldn't make

the reunion)

The whole family (minus a few)

The toothy kids!

My cousin Vicki fixing up my do!

My beautiful Aunty Heather. Love her to bits...

This was the loveliest time. To catch up with family that I haven't seen for many many years. To introduce my boys to their massive extended family and watch them just blend in as if they'd known these people for all their lives. I laughed and cried and was hugged and kissed to bits. Such good good medicine. Sometimes we forget just how blessed we are to have people who love us. How can get so caught up in our worlds that we forget that?

I took a bag of novelty joke false teeth to give to the kids at photo time. Its especially hilarious as I didn't have enough for alll of them. Pick which ones are pretending they have joke false teeth.

from this newsletter

Oh the shock and horror when I looked closely at photos from our family reunion that Russell had taken with his new camera. There I am with my head thrown back, laughing at some obviously hilarious joke. My hair is lovely, my skin is glowing and there in all their glory on my chins (?) are a cluster of hairs. Curse those extra mega pixels and digital zoom and other complex features…Did I really need to know? I zoom in, just out of curiosity, and yes there they are bigger than ever. My chin looks like Phyllis Diller.
It’s confirmed. I’m on the slippery slope of my summer years and the autumn ones are about to hit me in the face. We chuckle among ourselves we women, at our funny little ways. That errant chin whisker that you can feel but can’t find, the occasional sugar bowl in the fridge and milk in the cupboard (who did that?) and where the heck are my car keys, only to find them exactly where you left them. It always happens when the teenagers are around to laugh hysterically at poor old mum. Shame they’ve outlawed beating oh sorry I mean spanking children. Sigh!
Oh the dilemma of needing to read a label in the kitchen only to discover that someone has wandered off with the kitchen glasses, or the bathroom glasses, lounge room glasses, computer glasses; telephone glasses, sewing glasses and realising you need glasses to help you find the glasses. There is also that big step when you brave the optometrist and emerge with your first pair of prescription glasses. Apart from the fact that you instantly look so much more intelligent and suddenly everyone wants you on their trivial pursuit team, there is however that small adjustment period as you get used to travelling life with your first pair of optical aids. We thought Janelle was being particularly agreeable as she nodded her way around the shop learning to wear her new bifocals.
I love my age and when ever I reach a new milestone I delight in the riches that open up for me. Where I may a littler vaguer, I think I’m a lot wiser.
I’m more patient and happy to agreeably disagree in a discussion. I delight in all the different kinds of people in the world. You can’t make fruitcake without a few nuts and mixed peel. I may be ready for bed closer to sunset, but I relish the early mornings when I have my little chat with God. I was lamenting the other day that for all the exercise I was doing, my arms and legs were getting thinner and my middle was getting rounder. I worried that I may be turning into a chupa chup.
“Don’t worry” Janelle reassured me “at least you’ll have great legs!”

sick days

Here I am, sitting at home slowly recovering from a tummy bug and wishing like crazy that I was at Daisy's ( Hey that rhymes...)
Its very hard to stop when you are used to being busy, busy.
Because its taking me that little while to get my stamina back I have the joy of watching DAYTIME TV!
what a joy!
Its like being trapped in the pages of a New Idea magazine.
No, I'm pretty sure I've found Mr Right, thanks for the quiz though!
The Steam mop looks marvellous , and only four easy payments!
About losing those baby pounds though....Alex is nearly 16 do you think the Abtastical Super Gut-tronic will really give me a tummy like the girl in the picture? Perhaps I can conceal it with the amazing compact that conceals all and replaces seven other make up products ( I didn't know there were seven makeup products...lets see mascara, lippie, foundation, eyeshadow....?)

There is something nice about being at home on a sick day though. No guilt about the housework, lots of snoozes in front of the TV. Staying in your pyjamas, wooohooo what a devil!
I'm missing all my friends though and having a good laugh as we tend to do at our work.
Maybe its time for a prank call....now who can i be this time?????

A little red boat.

Consider a little red boat at anchor. It’s so bright and fresh and enthusiastic in its little boat world. Over time it happily bobs and bounces to the waves and the wind. It gathers barnacles and its paint weathers and peels.
Out of ignorance, to keep it safe and sound, we may try tying little strings to the shore, to overhanging branches, to nearby rocks and our little boat will seem to be secure.
Then one day the weather may turn nasty.
Some of the strings may snap and start the little boat pulling and tugging at the other strings until they too begin to fray and snap under the sudden extra stresses. This is more than the little strings were meant to do. Some of the strings will hold on for as long as they possibly can until finally, reluctantly they snap. And the little boat is adrift without anything to depend on.
If only we had realised sooner that a good sturdy rope and anchor, secured to the river bed would have held the little boat in place through the mightiest storms and most turbulent waters.

Consider then that you are the little boat.
You have gathered around you dear ones ( friends and family, your little network) who are there through the bobbing and bouncing of the wind, each giving you their portion of support that adds up to make you feel safe. They are your strings.
But a storm arrives. Some of your friends for all sorts of reasons can’t continue to steady you. They pull away. The other friends have to work so much harder, they may have frayed from some of their own battles. They struggle so hard but in the end they unravel, fray and sometimes even let go to protect themselves.
Right when you needed them the most, at the height of the storm. You are alone.

Now…
Consider then that God is your anchor. Constant, strong, holding you firm and steady. With that anchor digging into the riverbed, any storm is able to be weathered.
And the rope holding us to the anchor? The only way to be able to connect to that protection, that safety. That would be Jesus Christ. The only way to the anchor.

The knowledge of that security, being able to completely trust in the anchor and the rope and the acceptance of the storm and that eventually it will pass. That would be the Holy Spirit.

Consider in a quiet moment…do you count the strings that keep you safe, or do you know you have an anchor.

Merry Christmas

Its been a funny old lead up to Christmas this year. Still all the madcap craziness, but also there's been in me an enormous sense of peace.
We've been on holidays since midway through the month and so have had time for the usual preparations, and also a few lovely days camping by the seashore, with my darling family. That was the most important time for me. The days were just glorious, perfect sunshine, warm water, good company. It gave me time to clear my head and have a little chat with my Father.

Its taken me a long time to realise that the inner monologue that i have in my head every day, whenever i'm awake is me chitter chattering to God. And I always have! People would say that Linda is such a worrier" and I couldn't understand it. I'm not fretting over something , i'm processing it. Those times when i feel a nudge to do something, even when its stepping out of my safety zone, making me uncomfortable; I know its a nudge from God. I have learnt to trust that sometimes i don't know best.

When I see someone who is struggling and my God nudges me to go over, start talking , give a hug, say the uncomfortable words, I generally do. I fret when i miss that nudge, or I'm too chicken to act on it. (rest assured this works in reverse too, stay away, back away, disengage can also be my instinctive prompt and my personal favourite that comes to me very very often "be quiet, just Listen!" Its taken me years to heed that one. LOL)

I relish those moments when my world is quiet around me. Here I am early early Christmas morning , i've popped the turkey into the oven and I have time to sit and give thanks for all i have been blessed with. I won't list them for you, you can imagine as they will be similar to yours.

Time to go, the house is stirring.

I'm very grateful to you my dear friends. I wish you all a blessed Christmas. Remember to celebrate his birthday. Its our yearly reminder of how much God loves us and wants us back.
God Bless
Love Linda XXXXXXXXXXXXXX
ps Don't try and steer the rollercoaster, God is doing that; sit up the front and throw your hands in the air and go wooooohoooo!

How to "comment" on this blog.

Mind you I'm still a novice at this!!!!
When you've read the post
click on the words "comment" at the bottom.
A text box will come up for you to write what you need.
Under that its gonna ask you how you want to be seen.
Just choose the button that says Name/URL (there's no need to register or anything)
then click on publish this comment.
It gets sent to me first for proof reading then i okay it for the blog
Simple!
X Linda

With a sigh of relief...

Today I've had a series of lightbulb moments, where the little lightbulb appears over my head and suddenly it all makes sense. Apologies for my tardiness with the bloggy business. Considering that I love to write so much its been puzzling why i tend to avoid this.


Now I know...





Yep I took the plunge.
Surrounded by my friends and family I was baptised on the 23rd November. Yep I'm born again!
(This is my friend Alison giving me a big hug of congratulations and my mad mate Janet looking on!)

Russell and the boys were there which made it even more special. High 5 for Jesus!

Thanks so much Belinda for the fantastic photo's!!!!!!!!!!

And this is where I need to say thanks to John our Pastor who spoke today at church about what does God want me to do with my life which made me think about am I working to his purpose?. And thanks to my friend Margie who talked to me today about my blog and that she had trouble commenting on it ( yes I did have a funny setting accidentily set to make it hard) which made me come and look at it again. There's my light bulb moment!

I know what I have to be writing about now!

I think what held me back is that as I write in my blog I've been editing what I say so that i don't offend anyone. Hello? From now on its about what I'm thinking, my journey of faith,being a new Christian, what I'm reading and also some translations.

I'm in a pretty exciting place with my faith.

I'm too new to "talk the talk" with confidence, but I can also rememeber what it was like to hear the Gospel read in that alien bible-speak and how confronting the language Christians use can be to people who are ever so gingerly, turning toward our God and starting to listen and ask, "is there something more than this?"

They are very nervous, "if I reveal myself they'll "get me" and before you know it I've handed over all my money and I'm happy clapping on street corners where my friends will see me! Shock Horror!

This is where I give a warm chuckle. No no dear ones, your on the wrong wavelength...

I'm so excited to be able to share my journey with you.If ever you have questions you know where to find me.

I've got to go as apparently I've been using all the internet speed to upload the photo's. Sigh!

More tomorrow...............

Love ya, Linda :)

For those of you interested here is my testimony.

" In Nambour, on the other side of the road from the salvation army, on the corner of Maud and Sydney Street there is a sign that reads:
Jesus said “Come to me all who are weary and burdened and I will give you rest.” Matthew 11:28
And about 3 years ago I noticed it.
I noticed it because I was burdened and weary. For all of my life I had carried not only my own worries, but everyone else’s. I could remember every hurt, every wound, and every harsh word that had ever been said to me.
With my mental cataloguing system I could pull out each memory and know all the detail, refresh that anger and hurt, and they never ever healed.
I could also remember every time I had done something or said something that I was ashamed of. I could remember it in detail. And the combination of all that hurt and shame was grinding me to my knees.
You can imagine what a heavy load that was to carry around in my heart. But that was me; that was how I operated.
So three years ago I finally was bought to my knees. My health had ground me to a halt. I had been battling arthritis for so long, and finding it very hard. You see I looked okay.
There were family tensions that had been bubbling away for a long time that finally came to a head.
For the first time I was filled with such a sense of despair it overwhelmed me. I looked at where I was in my life and considered how hard it had been to that point and the thought of another half a lifetime of the same was just too much. That’s exactly where God wanted me. Looking outside of me for help.
I work with a lovely group of ladies and I was lucky enough to be hanging around with Christians. Its amazing the things you absorb just by listening.
I started to think about going to church. It was like a domino effect. As soon as I had the thought, Di at work was talking about her church and before I knew it, I was sitting beside her at the Sallies in Nambour singing my little heart out with tears streaming down my face.
I welcomed Jesus into my heart a few weeks later, and then continued to have a good old bawl each Sunday much to the delight of Diane’s daughter; who would peep around her mum each week to see if I was blubbering.
And just like when you are carrying a really heavy basket, and someone comes and grabs the other side, my load has lightened. I have no burdens on my heart, because my Jesus is carrying them for me.
Russell and my boys are cautiously supportive. I know Russell was worried that I might swap everything we own for some magic beans, and Ben, Jake and Alex are worried I might embarrass them in front of their friends “Hi Five for Jesus” But they love me and know I’m not a fool.
I have now been surrounded by my spiritual family. I love the Riverwalk Church, it feels like home. Our New home group who have welcomed Russell and I so warmly.
And of course I love my dear friends at Daisychain, especially Barbi, Janelle, Sue, Norma and Dawn and the special work we do. And my scrapbooking friends who I have tucked in next to my heart. I feel Jesus working in my life daily. I feel different than ever before. Different to three years ago. Different today, to even a month ago. And why do I want to be baptised.
This is the same quote from the bible that I started with but, its from “The Message” the bible in contemporary language, by Eugene Patterson."

Matthew 11:28-30

Jesus said
“Are you tired? Worn out? Burned out on religion? Come to me. Get away with me and you’ll recover your life. I’ll show you how to take a real rest. Walk with me and work with me- watch how I do it. Learn the unforced rhythms of grace. I won’t lay anything heavy or ill-fitting on you. Keep Company with me and you’ll learn to live freely and lightly.”

Alex's music night at school

This is a little video of Alex's last performance with his friend and the music teacher. When they had started they realised the bass that the teacher was playing was seriously out of tune but still it sounds great to me! Not bad for his second live performance ever. We filmed it just using the video feature on our photo camera so not the best quality, but good enough.

Note the school uniforms...very AC/DC.This is the first time I've uploaded a video so fingers crossed!

Anyhow we're just so proud of our boy. I think there are big things in his future. He is so joyful in his love of the music, i really believe its a gift from God and there's a plan in place for our baby.

Convalescence

Im actually dressed today (this photo from a week ago!)

Nothing like a bit of enforced rest to bring you back on a level playing field...and give you time to blog!

Its now nine days since my hysterectomy and all is going very well. Russ has taken time off work and is looking after me so well! The boys are treating me like the most fragile little ornament and I'm quite enjoying just stopping for a while.

Its been a little gift of some time to collect my thoughts. Think about what I'm doing and why. Where I'm at in my life and where i want to get to.

Its been great for Russ to stop also. We've really been reduced to the absolute basics. We cook and eat. We watch movies or read. We sleep and we talk. All perfectly wonderful restorative stuff.

Before i went into hospital I packed up my desk and for over a week Jake has had his computer set up here. A few days ago i got him to pack it up and I'm back to playing here again. No amazing creations but lots of looking and touching and getting inspired. I visited daisys very quickly on monday and Barbi had a care package for me so a few new toys to play with.

But i'm not in a rush. There's time when i feel better. Its so nice nice to read a whole Jane Austen in a day and a half with lots of dozing on the couch. Then sit up to a beautiful home cooked meal with my boys, before an evening curled up on the couch with a rug on my knees and the puppies curled up alseep at my feet watchin australian idol. Russ just called me in to look at the junk mail. No reason but "gosh there a lot of good fathers day stuff Lin, but i don't need anything but look at this"

I have a half hearted scarf on the go and theres a comfort too in the clickyclack of knitting needles. Jake is in his room and you can hear him chuckling away with his friends online. Alex is picking away at his guitars, switching from acoustic to electric with ease. Ben arrived home as black as a coal miner from work and keeps coming and getting me to check whether he's got it all. I keep saying behind your ears but will he listen?
All in all a pretty contented little home now that our little worry time is over.
I wonder if its afternoon tea time yet?

Love this.....

The Pear Tree.
There was a man who had four sons. He wanted to teach his sons to learn not to judge things too quickly. So he sent them on a quest, in turn, to go and look at a pear tree that was a great distance away.
The first son went in the winter. The second in the spring; the third in the summer and the youngest in the autumn. When they had all gone and come back he called them together to describe what they had seen.
The first son said that the tree was ugly, bent and twisted. The second son said no it was covered with green buds and full of promise. The third disagreed; he said it was laden with blossoms that smelled so sweet and looked so beautiful it was the most graceful thing he had ever seen. The last son disagreed with all of them. He said it was ripe and dripping with fruit, full of life and fulfillment.
The man then explained to his sons that they were all right, because they had each seen only one season in a trees life.
He told them that you cannot judge a tree, or a person, by only one season, and that the essence of who they are and the pleasure, joy and love that comes from life can only be measured in the end, when all the seasons are up.
If you give up when its winter, you will miss the promise of your spring, the beauty of your summer the fulfillment of your autumn.
Don’t let the pain of one season destroy the joy of all the rest. Don’t judge life by one difficult season. Persevere though the difficult patches and better times are sure to come some time.
Live simply. Love generously. Care deeply. Speak kindly. Leave the rest to God. Happiness keeps you sweet. Trials keep you strong. Sorrows keep you human.
Failures keep you humble. Success keeps you glowing, but only God keeps you going.

Prayers.

I've been praying heaps lately.
Its an out of character praying too.
Usually I talk to God at night before i sleep. Its a calming, peaceful resolution to the day; and I imagine that in the act of unburdening, I fall asleep in his arms.
That was a comfort to me for years, even before I re promised myself to Jesus.

(I hope I'm not scaring you off here, bear with me...)

But my new praying is different, its focused. I can describe it to you like this.

My world at the moment is a little like walking in an earthquake zone. Just when I think i can walk with surety there is another lurch to the earth, and I reflex and throw my hands out to steady myself. And unlike other times when that would spell an unravelling, "c'mon Linda its time to drop your bundle". Instead i resettle quickly, like oil on water, as shaken as I am, it smooths amazingly quickly. I feel Gods hand on my shoulder saying "steady girl.."

While I'm still not sleeping well; instead of it being an anxious time when I lie awake listing all my woes of the moment in order of crises. This is a sorting time. I'm picking up each worry in my mind. I'm turning it over mentally in my mind until I know it well and then; early in the morning while our home is still and quiet, I'm slipping out of bed and coming to my desk. And then I'm speaking to my Father. Its clear and coherent, its delivered in order, scrutinised so I can articulate the hows and whys and whats. Because I have placed it in a semblance of order. I can also deliver it in context. "Please can you help with this, I understand/ don't understand that this is part of your lessons to me; your bigger picture. I trust that you know what you re doing."
When its in context i can make sure I put my gratitude first, and acknowledge my wonder at his work in the world and in my life.
I can think of all the people who need God to look kindly on them and I can ask for favour for them.
One by one; by name; from my list.
I can be remorseful
for when I've not strived to be Christ-like as much as i know i should.
And then I can hand over my burdens, like a little bundle of speech cards.
Sorted in order, clarified, in context.
I need give them no more thought. God now holds them in his hand.
Then I thank him.
When i start my day i feel as though my shoulders are light.
My heart is full, replenished.
Ready.

They're growing up.

We've just celebrated Ben's 21st Birthday.

It was a madcap hectic time as we prepared for a party and a houseful of visitors. There must have been a dust cloud over our home as we swished everything into shape.

Its made a me nostalgic for my dear little boys, and how hard I thought it was with babies, then toddlers, one at school, one at kinder; one a babe. Then all at school, but busy with activities, where are my footy boots, my reader, my permission slip. Then they start to finish high school and we scramble to get them set on a career path.

I don't think they'll ever stop being my babies.
At least I hope not.
I am however delighting in watching them grow into men.
XXXXXXXXXXXXX

random acts of kindness and favours with strings attached.

I often contemplate how we treat each other. There are all the nice and nasty people in the world. I wonder if the nasty people realise they're nasty or are they just oblivious to how they leave people; feeling all dented and disgruntled.
But there's also a bit of a trick to the nice people too. There's an outcome they're after. A pass off they're working toward. The good deed comes with strings attached.
Its the big tripping point of being a people pleaser.
We want some to notice what we're doing!

What's been happening with us...

Its our anniversary tomorrow. Twenty three years on the twenty third of March. No big celebrations or gifts. Just out to dinner to mark the occasion. I was hustling the boys out of the house (They are gathering with a group of like minded computer Nerds to play games all night!) when jake asked "why are you trying to get rid of us?"
"It's our anniversary, and your Dad and i want to play hidey/chasey, maybe even in the nude!"
Jake was holding Stuart the cat at the time went:
"Eeeew! When i tell you to run Stu, RUN! And don't look back!"
I'll file that away until he's celebrating an anniversary.
I have a LOOOOOng memory!


I had my mobile phone in my apron pocket at work the other day. I dashed to the loo and while seated the phone beeped to say I had a voicemail. "Why not?" I thought and quickly dialed the number to check who was after me. Unfortunately it was the first time I'd checked voicemail and I hadn't registered yet. I'm not very savvy with this sort of thing and thought if I hang up I'm not sure how to get back to it again!
So I sat there working through the prompts, recording my name and a message. If you ever call my phone there's a delighful echo to my message. Thank heavens no one came into the loo while I was there...they would have heard:-
"Hi this is Linda, sorry I missed you. Leave a message so I can get back to you later. Don't forget to press the hash key! Bye!

I've just put the finishing touch to a layout I'm entering into a competition. I feel very proud of it! This weekend we've been close to home and I have got so much done! Its a good feeling to be on top of my classes. A few more in the next few days and I'm up to date.
The layout i've finished is one of Russ and I. I wrote a little acknowledgement of my love for him and put it in journalling strips on the page. Just beautiful. X

Fun in the garden

I always love those times when the boys join us in the garden. Max the dog nearly turns himself inside out he's so excited to have someone to play with. He's a mad keen soccer player and I believe could actually play for Australia one day.

Russell has just bought himself a new mulcher. Hours of fun! Jake has christened it the "Green Guinea Pig" its such a voracious muncher. There is not a spare leave twig or blade of grass in our garden. Russ is now looking into the trees to see whats about to fall....

My inheritence

Don't you love those unexpected glimpses; when you catch a view of yourself, as other people see you.
I was in the Medicare office the other day and glanced up at the TV monitor, as you do.
The Lady at the end of the queue wore white trousers that were very unflattering and her T Shirt had ridden up the back, framing her pear shaped derriere. I smiled to myself, but I did admire her lovely colour matching, the orange T Shirt was just lovely....wait a minute

It was me!!! Shock.... Horror!!!

And doesn't it send your confidence tumbling like a house of cards. It took the "John Travolta" right out of my strut!

All these years I thought I didn't look too much like either my mum or my Dad. Oh you could see I belonged; but compared to my brothers I was definitely a hybrid of the two of them. Little did I know that it was all time-sensitive.

And like clockwork, forty years later I happened one day to glance at my knees.
Yep, you guessed it . They're my mum's. Exactly the same. And someone's been drawing on them with red and blue pen!

My favourite inherited body part from my Mum, however, are my hands.
They used to be quite elegant. When I wasn't Nursing I could get my nails nice and long. I was always moisturising, and buffing the nails , pushing cuticles back. Etc etc.
I'd advise Mum on what she needed to do to have "Lovely Nails" Try this product, yes it'll work. Just rub this into your cuticles/nail tips/hands ten times a day. you get the idea. To me with plenty of free time before kids, it seemed so easy. She was obviously not trying hard enough!

Just add twenty five years to those glamorous hands and notice the difference. They've become square and blunt. The knuckles are thick. I struggle with some of my rings, but I'm too vain to get them enlarged (What if i drop a few pounds.) I can't grow any length to the nails. I have freckles on the back of my hands and they always seem dry.

They're my Mum's Hands.

And I know that they are like this because I "MOTHER". We work so hard, my hands and I. Together we make a house , a home; we rub away aches, we give comfort with touch, we nourish and nurture. Sometimes we tackle distasteful tasks, but we do it quickly, efficiently.
They can wield heavy tools if required and then , later, can precisely place a delicate bead or sequin, sew tiny stitches or find an eyelash that is lost in a dear one's eye.

I love that I have my Mum's hands.

I'm not so sure about the knee's.

New Title

I really don't learn my lessons. Tonight Russ and i went to the cinema, and after retraining myself to not need caffeine, and be perfectly happy with decaf; i shout myself a lovely Grande Flat white at Zarraffa's. Hence here it is after midnight and I can't sleep.........

Just thought for the new year, a new title banner was in order. Love the quote from Erma Bombeck. The photo is from my desk, through our front sliding doors and off our balcony. I've tweaked the colour to make our Tibouchina extra blue, and softened the focus to write my little quote.

This is what I see as i sit at my desk and write or scrap or draw or just think and pray.
My intention once again is to write more frequently and now after much thought i know what direction to take this in. I have some drafts for publishing that just need a wee little polish and some little snapshots of my world that may bring a smile to your face.

If I make you smile, or make you thoughtful. If I bring a tear to your eye or even better, if i make you sit up and look more closely as i share my spiritual journey with you then I am glad.
If you hadn't realised I've found God again, I have( apparently he never lost me!)
I can't talk the "churchy" talk so relax; it won't be like that!
Phew! I'm as relieved as you are!

But i want to share with you the amazing things that happen to me daily.

The First thing to share!
This is not what I got out of bed to write, in fact nothing like what I'd intended at all.
I'll share my funny McDonalds story, and the icecream truck story, and the mums and daughters thoughts with you next time.
ttfn
ta ta for now