Prayers.

I've been praying heaps lately.
Its an out of character praying too.
Usually I talk to God at night before i sleep. Its a calming, peaceful resolution to the day; and I imagine that in the act of unburdening, I fall asleep in his arms.
That was a comfort to me for years, even before I re promised myself to Jesus.

(I hope I'm not scaring you off here, bear with me...)

But my new praying is different, its focused. I can describe it to you like this.

My world at the moment is a little like walking in an earthquake zone. Just when I think i can walk with surety there is another lurch to the earth, and I reflex and throw my hands out to steady myself. And unlike other times when that would spell an unravelling, "c'mon Linda its time to drop your bundle". Instead i resettle quickly, like oil on water, as shaken as I am, it smooths amazingly quickly. I feel Gods hand on my shoulder saying "steady girl.."

While I'm still not sleeping well; instead of it being an anxious time when I lie awake listing all my woes of the moment in order of crises. This is a sorting time. I'm picking up each worry in my mind. I'm turning it over mentally in my mind until I know it well and then; early in the morning while our home is still and quiet, I'm slipping out of bed and coming to my desk. And then I'm speaking to my Father. Its clear and coherent, its delivered in order, scrutinised so I can articulate the hows and whys and whats. Because I have placed it in a semblance of order. I can also deliver it in context. "Please can you help with this, I understand/ don't understand that this is part of your lessons to me; your bigger picture. I trust that you know what you re doing."
When its in context i can make sure I put my gratitude first, and acknowledge my wonder at his work in the world and in my life.
I can think of all the people who need God to look kindly on them and I can ask for favour for them.
One by one; by name; from my list.
I can be remorseful
for when I've not strived to be Christ-like as much as i know i should.
And then I can hand over my burdens, like a little bundle of speech cards.
Sorted in order, clarified, in context.
I need give them no more thought. God now holds them in his hand.
Then I thank him.
When i start my day i feel as though my shoulders are light.
My heart is full, replenished.
Ready.